Car Keys
Inauthenticity of sort and I cannot write your dissertation
Written few weeks ago:
I turn 20 in less than a week, few days actually but i wont count because the numbers in my life make me nervous. I have an assignment to get to, and work to complete but my fingers ache due typing on this stupid computer all day. I’ve slept for 5 hours and ill sleep for 5 more, (numbers by weezer).
2:11 am, 13th October
Last song open on Spotify is … Today i miss people, not in an upsetting kind of way, but more of a i have extended so many parts of myself to various people, and i don’t know if they’ve discarded or kept those parts any longer. I feel like a jigsaw puzzle, that’s missing a few pieces; when someone leaves or I leave, absence feels like a missing puzzle piece.
People i miss show up in my dreams, do they dream of me too? I have to be awake at 7 am, it is now:
2:13 am
I have a slight headache and i miss my siblings, although we are asleep in the same room. Lately I feel like i’m missing out on the laughter, but that was a feeling that extended from the walls outside my house, not inside. Maybe this feeling crawled up inside me and dug out a space, where one way or another i will be the stranger. I feel like a stranger within my own house again, i’m not engraving it, i’m not marking my words, neither pointing out patterns but, but... I do not know what the purpose of my words are
2:18 am
I write for no one in particular - I don’t know if that is true - but I did post this for my beautiful friend (love u and happy 20th).